Despite my dislike of going to the movies, I went to go see Pokémon the Movie: White—Victini and Zekrom with the Significant Otter. It’s been about 10 years since I saw a Pokemon movie in theaters, give or take a year. Now, those movies are by no means good. They have their moments, but their quality is not in the realm of being more than extended episodes for kids or a nostalgia trip for the first generation Pokemon Masters. My expectations weren’t high. I just wanted to laugh at whatever changes had been made and see what voices they gave the new gen of Pokemon. I’m glad that’s all I wanted out of it.
So, we start the movie and there’s a traveler that helps a hurt Blitzle back to its owner. Apparently, they live in the middle of the desert. A tornado kicks up and forces a herd of Bouffalant to stampede. This guy uses Reshiram to stop the tornado and attacks the herd to stop them. Already something is fishy. I know that tornadoes are affected by temperature and air pressure, but I have to wonder if a fireball would really be the solution. That doesn’t seem like it should work. Maybe the Mythbusters can try it out for me. Also, the first legendary in Pokémon the Movie: White—Victini and Zekrom is Reshiram? In fact, Zekrom doesn’t even show up until about the last 15 minutes of the movie. It makes me wonder what the companion movie features most.
After that weirdness, we get Ash and company getting lost and almost dying as usual. Ash almost bites the dust trying to save a Deerling that was stupid enough to go for the hard to reach berries on a crumbling ledge. I’m not even going to ask how they got there in the first place. Ash plays hero and almost dies, but because Victini is watching this go down, it gives Ash super powers. Why? Because we need a way for him to actually know what the fuck he is doing. Anyway, he jumps to safety and comes to a cave that theoretically will take him where he needs to go. His travel partners, Cilan and Iris, say that they’ll just meet him at the city. They are clearly great pals to leave him with minimal convincing and no back-up plan. So, Ash finds out that the cave is really more of a system and maze-like. Because of the power bestowed upon him by Victini, he knows the way out. The maze empties out into the basement of the castle that is in the city they were going to visit. Talk about handy.
Ash meets up with his friends, and they all enter the tournament going on to see who the best battler is. Ash wins his shown battles by a combination of cheating and complete disregard of type advantages. He cheats unbeknownst to himself because Victini has been juicing up his Pokemon when they get knocked around too much. He beat a Samurott with a Tepig using Ember for christ’s sake! And no one seems upset by this. I’d be pissed if I were that trainer. Eventually they figure out that Victini is behind it and they befriend it by feeding it macarons. The worst part about this is that they take all accent out of the word and say mac-ka-ron. There is a difference between macaron and macaroon, but they aren’t saying it either way. Macaron should be pronounced closer to mah-cah-rhon. The way they say it sounds like someone originally from the Midwest trying to speak with a Spanish accent. It just doesn’t sound right.
Pronunciation aside, they befriend this Pokemon that hasn’t been seen for centuries. Totally plausible. They go to the townspeople that were a part of the original civilization. They get a lovely tragedy of a king who was able to befriend Victini, but in one final act to save everyone from some rogue Dragonforce, he trapped Victini in the city as a result. Seriously, this is the best part of the movie. Not so much the story, but that the characters talk about the power of the Dragonforce so often that it’s hilarious. I imagine that crap band being the cause of everyone’s problems and it give me a hearty chuckle.
The bloke from the beginning shows up now to say he has a plan to bring the divided citizens together. He wants to move the castle back to where it was and essentially tortures Victini to do it. Well, because friendship trumps everything, Ash sticks his nose into it and tries to save a imprisoned Victini and is stopped. He and everyone else are thrown in the basement when he gets the idea to find Zekrom because this dude still has Reshiram. Logic! So he goes into this crystal cave thing that he got lost in back at the beginning of the movie. Apparently Ash is special and only he can go down into the maze…with Pikachu. Pikachu is crazy noble. Needless to say, they find Zekrom and a battle ensues. I’d hate to ruin the ending, but eventually, they wind up in space. I won’t say how or why. Just see it.
I laughed through the whole thing, but not because of the intentional jokes. I’m a little sad I spent money on it, but I suppose it was worth it. It was a nice date night and all the Dragonforce nonsense alone had me smiling to myself for a few hours afterwards. See it, but don’t expect too much from it. I’m sure a little inebriation will go a long way, too.